Is your marriage growing? Are you growing? Are you just going from problem to problem, or looking at the bigger picture of what life is about for you, your marriage and your family? Growth and development moves more quickly when we clearly focus on it. It is so easy to be distracted by life's many demands. Let's take a moment, quiet ourselves, and consider the longer view: 1. What do I/We really want? The question of the ages. So many things we want to do with our lives and so little time to get to them.
What is really worth our efforts? How much are we willing to invest in that direction? How do we balance the long term desire against the daily necessities? 2. Should I/We really change? Being complacent kills opportunity. Are we willing to give up the familiar and to accept the challenge? Is there a small beginning we're willing to make without scaring ourselves to death by starting too big? 3. What's the bright side in all of this? People truly are happier when they look at the "half filled glass." We've got research that demonstrates it.
Why should you be left out? 4. Am I/We comfortable with what we're doing? Are there any red flags we're not paying attention to? Are we compromising ourselves in some way? Our we truly being true to who we are? 5. Have I done enough for myself? Discontentment building up over time can be dangerous to your relationships, but becoming aware of it along the way can enable you to do things you never imagined. 6. Am I happy at where I/We are today? Am I happy with my life's level of love, sharing, sex, money, parenting ability, vacations and time off, relating to inlaws, meaning in our lives, etc. 7.
How much could I/We have? Are there self-limiting beliefs that lock us into the spot we're in? How much is REALLY possible? Would we be willing to make the sacrifices necessary? Is God, the Universe, or our Life-Purpose calling us toward something we can barely imagine? 8. What motivates me? What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find for yourselves. There are so many things that can make each of us happy, but to choose just one can be extremely difficult. Sometimes we need to focus in on the One Main Thing.
9. What Really Makes Me/Us Tick? So, what really makes you tick? Ask your partner for observations on you. Changing, improving, or growing is sometimes forced upon us by circumstances, but it is always a better journey when you Really Want It. My personal experience is that just when I think I've got myself figured out I discover something else lurking within. The years go by, my experience increases, and new dimensions of myself are brought forth.
So it is with you, as well. Life is a journey. Separately or together we progress from learning to learning. We can facilitate the process be staying open to the wonder of it all, always asking what we can now know more fully about ourselves. Ask, and receive!.
Steve Roberts, "The Couples Guy," is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight and Wisdom at: http://www.whatworksforcouples.com/